AUTUMN BIG GAME 2018 - Bishop's Statement!

In a short statement issued from Ludlow Castle, the Bishop of Ludlow today confirmed the capture of that notorious South African renegade and all round roisterer, Stokkies Joubert, at the Battle of Winforton Pontoons:

Stokkies Joubert before the Battle of Winforton Pontoons, surrounded by his command staff and bodyguard.

After the battle : aerial observation confirms Stokkies capture by veterans of the Loyal Ludlow Legion.

No chances are taken by Ludlow's veterans. The Royalist commander is held under close observation.

Regular listeners to the Bishop's Broadcasting Service will know how rare it is to capture a field commander : this is the first occasion that any commander has suffered such a fate since the kidnapping of the Bishop of Hereford by Government forces in the course of the early battles of Herefordshire's Civil War. Now that Joubert is safely confined in the deepest dungeon beneath Ludlow Castle itself, will the Bishop and his Chancellor, the Rev Duff Postin, offer a "prisoner exchange"? And would HM Government even contemplate such an offer were it to be made?

AUTUMN BIG GAME 2018 - The Headlines!

The headlines of Ludlow's Saturday evening newspapers:

HISTORIC VICTORY!

Government Forces defeated at Battle of Winforton Pontoons

Gallant Sir Gilbert "vaults the River Wye"

Nephew "reported safe" after Mortimer Ordeal 

Golden Valley Invincibles - Grievous Losses Reported

CAPTURE OF STOKKIES JOUBERT!

                             

                   Rout of "King's Colonials" by our brave Ludlow Legion

"Divine Wind" aids Anglican & Allied Assault

Thunder & Lightning over battlefield : was it really Ju-Ju?

LATE NEWS!

Group Leader Giles "Shot at Dawn"

Guilty of "Cowardice in the Face of the Enemy"

    Nonchalantly faces Firing Party with Tub of Strawberry Ice Cream -

 and Colefax & Fowler Colour Swatch!

The Sunday supplements will no doubt provide a full analysis of all these historic events!

Hereford1938 - SPRING BIG GAME 2018 - MATTERS OF INTELLIGENCE (2)

                                                                                                                                        

"I've received a very strange letter," said the Bishop. "Here, Rupert, you'd better take a look."

Colonel Rupert Lethbridge-Stewart, better known as "Big X" of the Ecclesiastial Intelligence Service, made a show of reading the strange missive. He had long deemed it part of his internal intelligence duties to have all the Bishop's correspondence steamed open and re-sealed before delivery, and was already familiar with its contents.

"Strange indeed," he said. There was no need for the Bishop to know. "Big X" read aloud:

FROM The Editor, Private Parts Magazine, A Secret  Location, Somewhere in London

Your Grace,

I know that you must be aware of our monthly investigative journal, as the ‘Church Times’ has, in the past, described us as ‘crude, lewd, and very rude’, while the Government’s Chief  Censor, Sir Attila Smashem, has called us ‘a filthy unpatriotic subversive little rag’. I am pleased to acknowledge both descriptions as accurate.

The reason for my letter is to pass on to you an advance copy of an article which, subject  to our secret printing press not being found by H.M.Government in the interim, will appear shortly in our magazine. I think you will find it interesting.

Yours faithfully,

William Tell (Editor)

MAJOR STRAITT-JACKETT – THE SECRET

THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW !!

Our undercover reporter, the intrepid Ivor Bignose, has recently uncovered startling news of the possible fate of Major Miles Straitt-Jackett, the noted Royalist commander recently reported killed at the Battle of Wigmore Hall. Readers may recall that the Major was said to have been ‘blown to pieces’ by a stray artillery shell, and was not seen after the battle ended, though an ambulance was seen leaving the area at high speed with a military escort. Here is Ivor’s report –

"Initially I watched the Special Hospital for Investigating Trauma at Woolwich for several days, managing to take a couple of poor-quality photographs of a mysterious individual, but was totally unsuccessful in trying to gain access to this high-security unit.

I then made my way to a nearby public house, "The Hand and Eye", which is a popular haunt of hospital staff. Masquerading as a wounded ex-serviceman selling matches, I struck up a conversation with a hospital porter, whom I shall refer to as "Igor". After numerous pints of "Old Dropsy", the man gradually became a little more talkative. Steering the conversation around to Major Straitt-Jackett, I showed him the photographs and asked if it was indeed the well known Government commander. Igor's reply was "mothly". When I asked him what he meant, he tapped the side of his nose in a knowing manner and said "We hath the technology, we can webuilth him", and cackled loudly.

I asked how this was possible and  ‘Igor’ belched loudly, and said ‘depenths how many bithts you’ve got’. Then he continued ‘Old Dr. Frank Enthstein wath lucky that lightning thtruck the hothpital generator when it did, all that exthra power’. By now ‘Igor’ was starting to ramble as  the eight pints of ‘Old Dropsy’ started to take effect, and he digressed into  ‘that power cut buggered up the wadio weport of the England game though, jutht ath we got the equalither against thoth Fwoggie bathdards’. At that point ‘Igor’’s eyes closed and his head drooped forward into his ninth pint of beer.

Just then the door burst open and a squad of BUF goons stormed in. After a nod from a man standing at the bar – a fascist spy no doubt – they strode up to me and hauled me roughly outside. It seems suspicion had been aroused by a match-seller’s ability to buy so many pints of ‘Old Dropsy’. Luckily, I just had time to hide the photographs where they could not be found without rubber gloves. When I awoke in a nearby alley some hours later I was thankful to find myself almost unharmed, apart from the two broken fingers, a fractured wrist, four cracked ribs, a black eye and three missing teeth.

Clearly H.M.Government have something to hide at this establishment. Can it really be that Major Straitt-Jackett is alive, or has been revived or even reconstituted somehow ? Only time will tell !"

"Big X" dropped the letter back onto the Bishop's mahogany desk. "That young reporter is very lucky still to be alive, I'd say. To my knowledge, the first photographs from the Special Hospital. The best we've been able to do is some detailed pencil sketches of their type of treatment...."

"....which, I have to say, has a very poor track record. Your Grace, I'd recommend that we keep a close watch on the Special Hospital for the Investigation of Trauma at Woolwich, and await developments...."

with thanks to Alan for the letter and article. All of Ludlow eagerly await developments in the strange case of Major Straitt-Jackett (Deceased?).

Hereford1938 - SPRING BIG GAME 2018 - MATTERS OF INTELLIGENCE

The Bishop tapped the crisp manila folder atop his desk. Leaning forward, he stared evenly at his Chief of Intelligence, Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart.

"It would have been well, Rupert, had we had THIS rather earlier. Yesterday, it would have been vital intelligence. Now, well....." the Bishop's querulous tones trailed off into deep contemplation.

"It's no more than a historical artefact." Lethbridge-Stewart nodded. "I know, Bishop, I know. The fact is that many of our best agents risked their lives to deliver the Wigmore All Round Defence Plan into our hands. It's not their fault that the transmission times were so slow."

"Of course, of course". The Bishop sighed. "It's just that sometimes...."

"You'd like your information current ? Up to date ? Hot off the press, as it were ?"

"Indeed."

The Colonel made a show of opening his bulging, leather bound briefcase. A flourish produced another manilla folder, clearly marked : "W/T intercept. BIG X - EYES ONLY". 

"There are some things that you can't know, Your Grace. For your own protection, as it were. And some things that you may wish you didn't know." The Colonel paused for effect. "Take this, for example. Our latest intercept from Comrade Professor Winter's Field HQ. Freshly decoded."

++ WINTERS TO CPGB HQ. STOP. + MOST URGENT AND IMMEDIATE. STOP. + ADVANCING AT WIGMORE. STOP. CRICKET PAVILION IN FLAMES. STOP + PATCHPOLE KC CONCLUDED DEFENSIVE ALLIANCE WITH GOVERNMENT FORCES. STOP + ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE. STOP + RUNNING DOG OF FASCISM. STOP + MORE ENDLESS CATCHPHRASES. STOP. YOU KNOW THE KIND OF THING. STOP + AUTHORISE OPERATION HUBRIS. STOP. MOST IMMEDIATE STOP. REPEAT MOST IMMEDIATE STOP. OPERATION HUBRIS AUTHORISED. STOP.+ LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION. STOP. WINTERS. STOP+ ENDIT ++

"Operation Hubris ?" The Bishop raised an eyebrow.

"The publication..." Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart cleared his throat. "The publication of Colonel Mustard's memoirs. The presses will already be running hot in Liverpool."

"No! Surely to goodness, Rupert, no! Even a godless Communist like Winters has more sense than that!"

"Merely a different frame of reference, Bishop. He'll be calculating that de Braose and the aristocracy in the County will be be unable to stand the resulting scandal. A Government in crisis. A revolutionary situation created. A power vacuum. The triumphant march of the great proletariat to the higher reaches of authority, that kind of thing. Or perhaps it was simply a reflex of revenge, a spasm of anger at the news of the Mortimer/Government alliance. Who can tell with a madman like Winters ?"

"And the Government ? Will they know of this ? Sir Barrington ?"

"They'll know soon enough, Bishop." Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart delved deep into his briefcase and produced another folder, marked "Agent Orange - Diary Extract - BIG X - EYES ONLY". "For the moment, however, Sir Barrington appears to be rather pleased with himself."

"Good grief ! His diary entry ! From yesterday, of all things !" The Bishop read eagerly:

The Mortimer Defence Plan has seen off all aggressors!

My old friend 'Himalaya' Joe reports that, with the help of a police flying column, he was able to hold off a Royalist/BUF assault before forcing them to the negotiating table.

It was agreed that, in return for the Royalists/BUF guaranteeing the neutrality and independence of Mortimer Country and for assisting us in defending against Red aggression, we would supply them with any surplus foodstuffs.

Despite the untimely demise of Straitt-Jacket, this agreement has held firm, with the Royalists duly taking the fight to the Commies. Ties were slightly strained when a section of Royalist sailors descended on the Mortimer Brewery with the intent of drinking it dry, but they were gently 'called time' by the Hereford Hunt Hussars, backed up by an armoured car (kept back in case of treachery and in no way bogged down in front of the Brewery).

Thus reinforced, I was able to look on from my vantage point at Wigmore Hall as the new alliance comfortably knocked the Reds for six. These godless rebels had already proved themselves incapable of defeating my forces in the area, despite outnumbering them three-to-one. Indeed their only accomplishment was the burning of the cricket pavilion; a building that can easily be repaired. The commander of 'Pavilion Force' will be suitably promoted for his gallant defence and courageous counterattack.

I gather from my friends defending my transmitter station that Radio Free Mortimer remains on the air after blunting a thrust from the Anglican League. In doing so they also kept them out of the grounds of Wigmore Hall and will also be duly rewarded.

The Hall never was never really threatened and so my staff were rarely troubled (much to the disappointment of the mortar crew) as the police and BUF took the brunt of the fighting on the approach road. The Chief Inspector will receive a glowing report from me and I daresay commendations will be in order.

We were able to rescue all of the livestock from the Brewery locale, but alas I'm led to believe that returns were low from the Transmitter. I have yet to learn the livestock returns from the Pavilion end.

So have I got into bed with the Royalists and BUF? Perhaps so. I would never side with the Reds. As for the Anglicans, whilst perhaps in pursuit of a noble cause, they have yet to approach me with a suitable offer. However, the door is not yet closed and my niece is still in search of a spouse..."

"A suitable offer ? A suitable offer ?" The Bishop sputtered. "The hand in marriage of my former ward ? The waiving of any dowry for Miss Nemone upon the conclusion of such a match ? The hand of Ludlow in eternal friendship ? No suitable offer ?"

"Yes." Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart returned the Bishop's goggle-eyed stare. "I'm afraid that the Shropshire Swain is overdue a stern talking-to, Bishop. Unlucky in love, unlucky on the battlefield, trailed coats and garden paths, that kind of thing."

"Well, I take everything back, Colonel. My profound apologies. This kind of intelligence could not be more current. Agent Orange?"

"One of Patchpole KC's staff, sir. I'd rather not say who."

Sir Barrington's Personal Household Staff. Who could be "Agent Orange" ?

"Of course. I quite understand." The Bishop tapped his nose. "Need to know and all that."

"Quite." The Colonel produced yet another manilla folder, on this occasion marked "Government Propaganda Broadcasts - MOST RECENT - PS - PERSONAL FOR BIG X - Do we really have to transcribe this guff ?", and started reading:

‘Government Troops yesterday assisted in repelling concerted attacks on Wigmore Hall in North Herefordshire by Communist and Anglican forces. Despite still suffering from wounds received at KINGTON, Storm Commander Giles led a relief column to the aid of the beleaguered Mortimer LDV garrison at WIGMORE HALL, and together they succeeded in halting the enemy advance.

Previously wary relations between the Government and Sir Barrington Patchpole KC were greatly improved when Major Straitt-Jackett’s Gas Street Irregulars managed to rescue ‘STANLEY’ and ‘NEVILLE’, the two eldest male offspring of the famous ‘FAT TED’, Sir Barrington’s favourite porker. The safe return of said offspring formed the basis of an agreement between Sir Barrington and H.M. Government, by which it was agreed that Mortimer Country should remain clear of all factions, whilst recognising His Majesty Edward VIII and supplying food resources as requested to Government forces. In return H.M.Government undertook to provide military assistance if requested by Sir Barrington, in the event of MORTIMER COUNTRY being threatened by any other faction.

A Government spokesman refused to confirm reports that MAJOR STRAITT-JACKETT was killed by a stray artillery round shortly after negotiating the agreement.‘

The Colonel closed the folder with a snap. "Not a word about Mustard's memoirs. No attempt as yet to prepare the people for what's bound to come. It looks like the Government and Patchpole have completedly under-estimated the long term effects of their alliance, Your Grace."

"I shall pray, Rupert." The Bishop waived his Chief of Intelligence towards the door. "I shall pray. It is all that can be done. Those Memoirs! The reputation of those ladies.....ruined! And not for politics, not even for politics! All for Fat Ted, Sir Barrington's pet pig!"

Hereford1938 AVBCW - SPRING BIG GAME 2018

The scenario for the Spring Big Game 2018 (Burley Gate Village Hall, Saturday 17th March 2018, 10am - 5pm) has now been published on the Hereford1938 TNG Blog here. All those participating in or following the continuing AVBCW campaign should check in for the up to date news!

HEREFORD'S BUF - "THE BLACK HOUSE"

Every Fascist leader needs a downtown HQ in their favourite colour(1). Herr Hitler started the trend with his infamous "Brown House" in Munich:

The Brown House, Munich

only to be quickly copied by Sir Oswald Mosley with his London "Black House", complete with Blackshirt "sentries" :

The BUF "Black House" situated at the Sloane Square end of the Kings Road

while Hereford's own Captain Arrowsmith, never one to miss a trend, soon requisitioned his own HQ in Central Hereford, the well known Residence Hotel:

The Residence Hotel before the VBCW, now requisitioned by the BUF.

Situated on the corner of Broad Street and King Street, both hard by the County Library and Museum and opposite the Cathedral Precinct itself, Hereford's own "Black House" soon acquired a notorious reputation, not only as Captain Arrowsmith's luxurious living quarters, but also as HQ of his plain-clothed "Special Investigation Directorate" (with accompanying heavily padded "interrogation suites" in the cellars):

The original view of the Cathedral from Captain Arrowsmith's office windows in the Hereford "Black House",
 formerly the Residence Hotel.

The reverse view. King Street can be seen on the left of the photograph, while the County
Library and Museum can be seen on the right.

With his ambitious plans to convert the now disused Cathedral(2) into a "People's Palace" (devoted to displays of Hereford's agricultural tradition and growing arms industries, together with his own glorification), Captain Arrowsmith moved quickly to improve his view, dynamiting the terrace of shops and houses that stood between his office windows and the Cathedral itself.

Fascist Town Planning  in action : the Terrace is no more.  Although by no means the only example of his notoriously destructive attitude to architecture, some eighty years on, locals still say that the open approach to
 Hereford Cathedral remains Captain Arrowsmith's chief legacy in the City.

Shortly after the completion of these works of "improvement", however, Captain Arrowsmith abruptly absented himself from his new "Black House". Quite why he chose to do so remains, to historians, one of the enduring mysteries of Hereford's VBCW. The traditional view, namely that Arrowsmith enriched himself at the Bank of England's expense, causing it's collapse and a hasty flight abroad for Hereford's fascist leader, had been subject to sharp criticism in both fact and fiction from the so-called "revisionist school" (see e,g, - "Arrowsmith : A Man Maligned?" ed. Putin & Trump, Pan Books [paperback, remaindered] "My Perfick Country Captain" ed Cartland, Mills&Boon). What is known, of course, is that the worldwide "Arrowsmith Hunt" became one of the great newspaper features of 1938.....

Notes

(1). That said - neither Mussolini nor Franco appear to have indulged. Perhaps their many palazzos proved sufficient for their needs.

(2). The Bishop of Hereford fell into captivity at the outbreak of the Hereford VBCW. The Dean & Chapter sought sanctuary in Ludlow. With the Government at war with the Anglicans (amongst many others), the Cathedral has been declared "closed for the duration" as a place of worship. 

(3).  Future timeline note..Modern day visitors to Hereford will search in vain for the Residence Hotel. In circumstances to be detailed in future posts, the building "met its end" before the conclusion of the VBCW, and the site is now occupied by a hastily built post war office block. Many thanks to the editor of "Hereford VBCW : Then and Now" for identifying the site and providing this up to date comparison image:

The site of the Residence Hotel as redeveloped. The City Library & Museum still stands in the centre of

this photograph, but substantial post VBCW development has taken place on either side. Still on the corner of

Broad Street and King Street, the place of the former "BUF Black House" has  now been taken by a rather

unprepossessing  and flat roofed office and shop complex. Nothing now remains to remind Herefordians

of Captain Arrowsmith's brief "reign" within their city.