Friday, 8 April 2016

Big Game April 2016 - Colonel Mustard's Memoirs

JC has unveiled the scenario for the Spring 2016 Big Game in the Hereford VBCW - see his blog here. The late Colonel Mustard's memoirs must be found....

By good fortune (Praise the Lord!), the latest recruits to the Ludlow Expeditionary Force are highly experienced in just this kind of police work (and crowd control) - the Chicago Police (Citizens Relations) Demonstration Squad !

Elements of the Chicago Police (Citizens Relations) Demonstration Squad.
Commissioner Gordon and Lieutenant Kojak are absent,
conferring with the Bishop's Staff Captains.

Regular listeners to the Bishops Broadcasting Service will recall that the Squad provided security for the recent shipment of Packard Town Vans from Detroit to Ludlow (see older posts). As the guests of the Bishop, the Squad have also taken pleasure in demonstrating to Ludlow's loyal citizenry their advanced weaponry - Colt .45 pistols, Remington pump action shotguns, and - to gasps of astonishment - the Gun that Bandits Fear Most !

Captain Arrowsmith ("dat doity rat" according to Lieutenant Kojak)  is overdue
 a meeting with Mr Thompson 's Anti Bandit Gun.

Feature - Of Matters Behemothic (2)

"May I ask" said the Bishop, at the forefront of a gaggle of Staff Captains and French experts, "just how this great beast was constructed ?"

"Weeel...." Engineer Scott pondered, then started jabbing his forefinger. "The Frenchies here, the experts from SOMUA, it was their design, fair enough. But it wasn't big enough, y'ken ? So we made it bigger, big enough for the heavy cannon, two machine guns, and the crew to keep them all firing continuously...."

"It certainly is a monster" said the Bishop. "Arrowsmith will be quaking in his highly polished jackboots."

"And then we added a supercharged Austin engine...."

"Enough power, I suppose, to dash faster than Jesse Owens ?"

"Och, no wonder. Then Steve, our welder, added all the super heavy armour, and Bob's your uncle, Bishop."

"The Austin - Steve Somua, then? Or the Steve - Austin Somua?" the Bishop spun a coin . "I believe Messrs. Royce and Rolls rather fell out in similar circumstances...."

"Tails it is, mon." Chief Engineer Scott clapped. "An' there's nae chance Storm Leader Giles will call this one a 'tankette'..."

The Steve Austin Somua ($1M) at the Bishop's Industrial Park and Experimental Proving Grounds, Ludlow.