Friday, 8 April 2016

Feature - Of Matters Behemothic (2)

"May I ask" said the Bishop, at the forefront of a gaggle of Staff Captains and French experts, "just how this great beast was constructed ?"

"Weeel...." Engineer Scott pondered, then started jabbing his forefinger. "The Frenchies here, the experts from SOMUA, it was their design, fair enough. But it wasn't big enough, y'ken ? So we made it bigger, big enough for the heavy cannon, two machine guns, and the crew to keep them all firing continuously...."

"It certainly is a monster" said the Bishop. "Arrowsmith will be quaking in his highly polished jackboots."

"And then we added a supercharged Austin engine...."

"Enough power, I suppose, to dash faster than Jesse Owens ?"

"Och, no wonder. Then Steve, our welder, added all the super heavy armour, and Bob's your uncle, Bishop."

"The Austin - Steve Somua, then? Or the Steve - Austin Somua?" the Bishop spun a coin . "I believe Messrs. Royce and Rolls rather fell out in similar circumstances...."

"Tails it is, mon." Chief Engineer Scott clapped. "An' there's nae chance Storm Leader Giles will call this one a 'tankette'..."

The Steve Austin Somua ($1M) at the Bishop's Industrial Park and Experimental Proving Grounds, Ludlow.

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